The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
