His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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