Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
