im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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