the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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