I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
