It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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