Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
