hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
