i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize