If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
