Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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