Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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