I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
