i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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