he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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