Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
