I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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