They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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