the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
