I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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