Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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