the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We need a shit load of segways right now
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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