That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My pussy is not your playground.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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