As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
