Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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