Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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