Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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