Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
