I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
