The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
