are you so shy because you have an std?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
