she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she peed on how many people?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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