My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
