So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
