honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
