Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
