My underwear smells like fireworks.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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