I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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