You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize