The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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