I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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