Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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