im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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