i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize