last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
