i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
my liver is dry heaving
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
