pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
