I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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