Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
