i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
