He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
