And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
