ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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