summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
