So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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