She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
