we're blogging at a bar
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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