sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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