Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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