I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
