Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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