u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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