I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
