Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
