ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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